Excerpt from "Going Home"

Excerpt from "Going Home", one of the short stories in "Tales from the Mind Field" just published on Amazon... http://amzn.to/1BGcoWY 

...They were laughing as they played by the side of the river. The little girl was running back and forth up and down the small embankment from the waters edge back up to the boy. She kept calling him to join her there by the water. She began taunting him, trying to get him to come down off the embankment. Finally he gave in and carefully came down to the waters edge. She splashed in the shallow part by the drop off that led to the deeper part of the river where the waters were rushing much quicker. She laughed at his apparent apprehension to go near the water. She continued taunting him. Suddenly, she heard her name being called. There it was again. She turned to see where the calling was coming from. When she turned back towards the water, she didn't see the boy anymore but heard her name again....

"RESOLUTIONS" AGAIN?

“Resolutions” Again?

It seems hard to believe, each year coming faster and faster, but it’s the beginning of yet another year – 12 fresh months of virgin time, available for you to accomplish something grand. It’s also a time when many people make their “New Years Resolutions”. Did you ever notice that when you talk to people about their resolutions, paradoxically, there is usually an air of resignation? No one seems to really believe that they’re going to stay on top of those things they resolve to do. So resolutions don’t have much of a powerful feel to them – and they’re almost always about giving something up. They just don’t seem to drive any action.

When I had my coaching practice some years ago, I would talk to my clients about intentions instead of resolutions. Intentions are the things we intend to make happen, and by that imagining our intentions are real, bring to bear all the resources and force of will we have at our disposal.

We set our intentions and focus our imagination thereby making our intentions real in our minds. This leads us to specific goals, which leads to game plans which ultimately then leads to actions. Which of course then leads to results.

Did you catch that?

• Set intentions and imagine them as real
• Which leads to goals
• Which leads to game plans
• Which leads to actions
• Which leads to RESULTS

So…what are you going to make happen this coming year? What results are you going to produce – for yourself, your business, your family, your community? Do you want to double your sales? Increase your profits? Maybe buy a new house or a new car or take a trip around the world? Will you run a marathon, master downhill skiing or snowboarding, or slim down or bulk up? Or maybe you will change the world, even if only by a little bit. No matter what your intentions are, here are a few questions to answer:

• Specifically, what are your intentions for the coming year? Answer this in detail: how much or how many, and by when. What will those intentions look like when realized?
• How are you going to increase your personal power – the velocity with which you turn your intentions into reality.
• What resources can you bring to bear to realize your intentions?
• What things, if not dealt with, could stand in your way of reaching your goals?
• How are you going to get help?

Answering the last question could mean the difference between success and failure. I urge you to think about it seriously. In the meantime, have a happy and productive New Year.

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"Tales from the Mind Field" A collection of short stories coming after the 1st of the year.

THE CHRISTMAS VISITOR

THE CHRISTMAS GHOST

You've had it happen I’m sure. You’re someplace, anyplace and you see a shadow of sorts out of your peripheral vision, maybe even right in front of you.

You don’t give it a lot of thought until that day or maybe the next day or two you learn that someone you know has died. You give it some thought and then dismiss it as nothing. I’ve had this happen on more than one occasion. The first time was on Christmas Eve 1973 as I stood in front of my boss’s office at the copy machine. He was out of the office at the time and the lights were out so the glass window was more a reflection than anything. I noticed it was 10:40 on the clock above the machine. As I stood there making copies, I glanced up and saw the shadow of a figure behind me. I spoke, “I’ll be done here in a moment” and I was. As I turned around, there was no one there. In fact there was no one within 100 feet or more. Odd I thought and went about my business. The next day my brother called me there at work to inform me that my mother had died.

“Oh no” I said, “When did it happen”

“Around 10: 30 or so the day before.” came his reply.

That evening as I prepared to drive to Phoenix to attend to things related to my mothers death, I thought about that shadow I had seen behind me at the copy machine. Was it a sign? Since I do believe in things paranormal and such I couldn't dispel the notion that I had in fact “seen” my mothers demise.

As the years went by, I heard and read many more stories about people who had experienced similar situations only adding credence to the notion that death may well visit prior to it’s actual arrival.

Coincidentally, a week before Christmas in 1980 I was dating a gal who was open to my theories about the matter. One evening while we were sitting on the couch in her living room, she abruptly disengaged from our “hugging” to exclaim, “Did you see that?” I honestly had to say that I hadn't since I had been similarly engrossed in our… uh, shall we say, “hugging?

She swore that she saw a dark figure move across the room and disappear.

I acknowledged that in fact it was possible but that she shouldn't give too much thought to it since there were better things to concentrate on at the moment. So chivalrous I am. Anyway, two days later she called me crying. Her father in Colorado had died two nights ago. Okay, that got my attention and I talked with her at length about how that was actually a good thing that she had been “witness’ to her fathers passing.

Several years later I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping at the mall on my way to my sisters house for some holiday cheer. I seem to always find myself having to pick up things right at the last moment. Yes, this time I saw it again. In the window reflection at Macy’s there it was. A dark shadow passed right over me and suddenly shot upward. I turned to see, but there was no one there. A shiver went down my spine as I immediately reflected on the past experiences I have had. I wondered who it might be. Someone I know? Someone who’s close to me knows? What a terrible time of the year to lose someone, right at what’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year and suddenly someone dies. I finished my shopping and walked out to the parking lot to my car. The parking lot was filled with shoppers going to and fro with their packages. I couldn't shake the thought that someone somewhere was going to be crying this season.

I arrived at my sister’s home around 9:30. Everyone else had arrived much earlier. As I walked in I immediately saw my sister sobbing as she was being held by her husband. My brother was sitting on the couch, his head down in his hands. Several others of her guest were somber and whispering quietly among themselves. There it was I thought. Once again I had experienced the moment perhaps when someone we knew had lost his or her life.

“Sis” I said, “Who is it. Tell me what happened”

Her grief was I guess too much for her to even hear me and respond. John, her husband slowly looked up and stared past me. He too seemed overwhelmed at the loss of whoever it was. No one was speaking, even when I addressed a couple sitting next to my brother on the couch. Every one seemed entirely consumed by the loss of someone they all must have known. I sat down on the piano seat in the corner and just waited. I finally addressed my brother, “Richard” I began, “Who is it? Who died?”

He head slowly rose from his hands as he seemingly acknowledged that he had heard me though he looked away towards my sister.

“Richard” I repeated, “Tell me” He got up slowly, ignoring me and walked over to my sister and put his arms around she and her husband.

Why was no one speaking to me? It was as if I was invisible there in the room with them. I stood up abruptly and spoke loudly, “Why is no one answering me?” I said

As I looked around the room, suddenly I knew.

THE END.

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There will always be bullying

This morning I read a story about a little girl who cut all her hair off to show her support for a cause regarding children with Cancer. A noble effort on her part for sure, but story goes on to tell about how she was bullied at school for her dramatically changed appearance to the point where finally her parents took her out of that school as a result.

My question is, what are we teaching our kids if we run away from the bullies or demand that they stop their behavior. There will always be bullies, just like there will always be nerds, or jocks, or mean girls. When I was a little kid in school, I got picked on also (we called it being “picked on” back then). You know what my mother used to say? Turn the other cheek son or laugh it off, sometimes right at them because you know what?…after a while they (the bullies) are going to move on to someone else because they can’t “push your buttons” anymore. They can’t intimidate you. So it’s no fun for them. For the bully, it’s all about power or “control” issue in most cases because they have none at home. That home environment is another whole story in itself. That's not to say that a child shouldn't tell their parents about a bully, but at that point, it's the parents responsibility to make that a teaching moment. 

Is it any wonder that we have bullies? Just look at the video games parents allow their kids to play or what they see on TV or at the movies. Kids need to assert themselves and if their parents won’t teach them how to do it constructively at home, they are going to act out at school or elsewhere. Parents need to stop trying to be their child's friend and instead be their parent. Becoming their friend will simply come. The problem is not that we have to wipe out bullying; the problem is that we have to teach our children how to deal with it. Sadly in many cases, the parents themselves need to be taught how to teach self worth in their children themselves. For several generations now, parents have been at a loss on how to parent. These kids are going to have to deal with quite a bit more as they get older and if all we do is teach them that the bad people have to go away or stop, then they never have to learn how to navigate the obstacles they are going to come up against in life. Between the ages of 1 and 5, children are sponges. They soak up everything they see and hear. This is when you begin to teach children to have their own identity, to learn that they are an important person in the world. If they are not taught this at home, then they have to assert it elsewhere. Many, many parents are quite successful at teaching their children well, but many are not.

There will always be bullies. The right thing to do for your children is to teach them how to understand why the bully acts the way he/she does and to understand that there may be other “dynamics” going on in that child’s life that cause them to behave this way. It’s then and only then that your own child learns tolerance and understanding of the world around them.
I will add however that if bullying goes on to a dangerous point, then the proper authorities need to be brought in.

October is BreastCancer Awareness Month. Hooray for boobies...

The Many Splendors of Boobs

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By the time a woman reaches the age of 50 in America, she has heard just about every loveable, awful, demeaning, eye-rolling, cute and hysterical term for those two globs of fat that sit on her chest.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so it's a good time to take stock of how to take care of our breasts, ourselves and our sisters who are battling this insidious disease.
In honor of those brave Warriors in Pink whom I know and those I have never met, this is for you. Laughter is the best medicine and hope cannot be prescribed in CCs and IVs. No one ever has the right to take your ability to hope away. So, what's in a name? Well, I'll tell you...

BOSOMS - There is nothing sexy about this term. It's Aunt Fanny in a cotton calico dress. These are the giant pillows that little children lay their heads on at naptime. Their two-car garage, boulder holder is most likely a Double D white cotton Woolworth's bra or more complicated girdle-like pre-Spanx contraption. Bosoms are way more than a handful, no longer springy and probably covered with baby powder or enough perfume to air freshen a room.

CLEAVAGE - OK, you're right, cleavage isn't typically a term for breast, but it's a preview, a prelude to a kiss. It's the trailer to the movie. Cleavage shows a little leg, it teases and offers a suggestion and the promise of more. But I had to include it. Cleavage is often preceded by the term "ample" and one customarily "sports" it.
HOOTERS - If breasts made noises, men must imagine they would hoot like a horn with joy. Perhaps that's how this mystifying nickname came into vogue. But alas, like the giraffe on the Serengeti, breasts are silent creatures. The fact that an entire adult restaurant franchise is named Hooters (and their logo is an owl whose eyes are two boobs with nipples) lets you know just how fun AND wise-like-an-owl this slang word is. Hooters connote the sexy librarian who takes off her glasses, lets her bun down and unbuttons her shirt. You go in for chicken wings and beer and end up with a face full of hooters! This is party city baby. If you're hootin' and hollerin' around, this is the term for you. No AA cups need apply.
BREASTS - An anatomically correct term for those globs of fat that sit on our chests. It's more delicate, like a wide champagne glass. "Breast" says classy, manageable. You can say breast in public. Hell you can ORDER chicken breast in a restaurant. It's acceptable without being clinical or denigrating. Breasts are the Limoges demitasse cups of the coffee world.
TITS - This is farm animal territory. It's two steps away from teats, a word that makes me shudder. I picture a cow's udders hooked up to hoses. Tit is a rough and service oriented term. It might also apply to that stage of motherhood where nursing Moms under extreme sleep deprivation believe they may actually now BE Bessie the Cow. And for the men who are too lazy to make their women feel loved and respected, this is the term for you. Good luck getting a home-cooked meal.
BOOBS - This word says sorority girl collegial and locker room cheerful. Boob just sounds fun, bouncy, no strings attached. Boobs don't have brains; they are ninnies, all harmless window dressing. It's a word you can write and say backwards or forwards. And fun, fun -- yes, even men can have boobs too! (Increasingly known as "moobs" which is short for man-boobs) The ambiguously ambidextrous quality of the word makes it a very safe and PC term in public.

RACK - This is flat out a dude's term, most often associated with hunting or butcher's cuts of meat. I think of "rack" as in lamb, the small defenseless baby animal that gets slaughtered at springtime. This is a gun-slingers term but Rack also goes with "rack and pinion steering," making it a mechanical term too. This nickname says "I'm gonna pull out some tools and tinker under the hood to get this baby running." Be afraid. And make sure he washes his hands.
TATAs - Kind of a nice way to messa 'round. This is a breezy, rapper, sing-songy word. It should have a dance step named after it. Even a toddler can say it and no one gets hurt. Tata is white bread and white rice soothing, no roughage or fiber to digest. Moreover, the use of simple syllabic names means you can give wide berth to the more clinical and scary anatomical terms that are just plain yucky (cross reference anatomy of the male sex organ). Among men this term is often preceded by the word "bodacious" for some inexplicable reason.
KNOCKERS - Ouch. This one is physical, the kissing cousin to another painful term "Speed Bags." Not good either, think Hulk Hogan. This calls to mind those perplexing old naked granny cartoons in Playboy or Hustler with torpedo shaped mammaries. I also think nostalgically of National Geographic magazine tribeswomen (pre-internet era porn for adolescent boys.) Knockers say, "gravity has taken its toll." It's kind of a caveman term for men at work--not play. Be warned, this is not Olivia Newton John's cheeky "Let's Get Physical." Nothing warm and fuzzy lives in the land of knockers.
THE GIRLS - This term is female retaliation, a smack down at men who, quite perplexingly name their male organs. You know what I'm talking about here, it's the sheer absurdity of pet names like "Big Pete" "Little Winky," "Carlos" and "Darth Vader." This disturbing custom validates the playful "buddy" relationship many men share with their body parts. The Girls is a non-threatening term that connotes comfort with ones own body. Think of the chick flick Bridesmaids and that take-back-the-night lingo that makes us feel all Helen-Reddy-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar. This is also BFF speak, all cup sizes are welcome here and there's no hint of creepiness or sexism. "I'm taking the girls out tonight," means "I'm going to sport some contour." This is what happens when the old college sweatshirt comes off.
In the interest of brevity, I've left out other classics and potentially denigrating favorites such as jugs, melons, hogans, cans, headlights, fun bags, yabbos and gazongas. And I encourage you to chime in with some suggestions of your own. There's no question that the names for our mammaries are as varied, descriptive and nuanced as the women who own them.

 

A Grain of Sand

A Grain of Sand

I hear them all the time, people complaining about this or that on Facebook, Twitter, in the line at the store, sitting at Starbucks, everywhere. Everyone has something to complain about. Is it human nature? I don’t know. I do know this though, whether it be from my years or my experience. You’re either part of the Problem or your part of the Solution.

This is a great saying and one I adopted years ago even though it took me some time to realize “Oh yeah, you have to put it in action if you’re gonna preach it.”

We stand on a beach and look at the sand beneath our feet. You can’t readily see one grain of sand, but if you were to count out 200,000 grains of sand and pile them up, they would now be noticeable to you. 500,000?, a million? Now your seeing even more of them and they make a difference in the overall landscape of the beach.

I can not tell you how long and how many times I have gone into Walmart and by the time I leave, I am so angry and disgusted with so many aspects of that experience. One day, as I stood in line with my wife waiting to check out, it finally hit me. Why the hell am I subjecting myself to these feelings if I truly can not tolerate what I experience here. From that day forward, I have not stepped foot in that store again.  Is it a matter of principle? Hell yeah. Do I think that my not shopping there has made any difference in the way they do business? I’m not so naïve as to believe that I alone can cause so significant a change but let’s see. What would happen if 200,000 people just all of a sudden stopped shopping there. 500,000?, a Million?, five million? It is said that “You have to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything”  It’s true and in this country, we all follow along like so many sheep in a herd. We don’t like it, but will we do anything about it. I saw on Twitter today where certain colored cheap crappy flip flops from China cause serious harm to peoples feet. This story has actually been out for nearly ten years. Shocking I’ve heard many people say, but do they do anything about it. What if every American simply stopped buying them in protest. Do you think it might have an effect? Especially if it became newsworthy?

We’ve heard about their (China’s) drywall, their dog food, baby items, the list goes on, but do we stop buying their crap? No. Instead, we complain about it and walk right back into Walmart or wherever else they sell their crap and eagerly buy more of it.

“You’re either part of the Problem or you’re part of the solution” applies to so many areas of our lives. We simply tolerate people who do nothing but complain and bring us down as opposed to saying “I’m done, I will no longer hang around a person with so much negativity” or “But I can’t afford to shop elsewhere” or “My vote doesn't matter” (Well, you might actually be right about the last one, but…)

I've said it time after time, if a united front took a stand against one thing at a time, you would see dramatic changes take place.

Let’s use a simple example. Let’s say that you and several other of your friends, neighbors, etc are tired of paying an exorbitant price for a given object. Letters to the company by you or others have no effect. They continue to reap the obscene profit they always have. Now let’s see what would happen if say you were able to start a grassroots campaign that eventually garnered eight million people to stop buying this product until the price is adjusted. Don’t you think that those “upstairs” executives might just come back from their country club lunches and sit down and ask themselves “How do we stop this tidal wave of dissent” “Hey, maybe we should lower the price?”

I know, I know, there are many of you who think I’m naive or nuts to believe this, but what if? What if there really is a “power to the people” as has been suggested. What if those millions of grains of sand do in fact cause someone to trip or stumble as they walk along the beach? What if you and ten million other like minded people just stood up and shouted “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”

I’m a writer, so I have a great and vivid imagination, but everyone that exists has an imagination. Now imagine you actually can be a part of the solution.

Help a Writer get published...
https://pubslush.com/books/id/3311 - https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/let-s-publish-a-book--2/x/1496569 

  

@RMVCARD

Will e-coaching work for you?

What Can A Legitimate E-Coaching Service Offer You? Original article By Rudolph Scarlett / provided by Bob Villoria - Coach / Mentor

People are constantly looking for a coach / mentor and guidance in a wide array of categories. As a result, there are numerous options to choose from when searching for an e-coaching or e-mentoring service. While it is nice to have options, it can be difficult deciphering one from the next. For this reason, here are some things a legitimate service will have to offer you.
First and foremost, you want to look for a program that is there for you. The beauty of an e-coaching service is generally the guidance is available 24/7.
It is supposed to be there at your luxury, and the top services will cater to your needs and wants. It is you who is seeking assistance and you who deserves the attention.
Not only should the service cater to your needs, but it needs to offer assistance specifically geared toward what you are looking for. Every service is going to have their own ways of doing things, but it is vital the coaching or mentoring focuses on your weak points, strengths, and demands. It should not be a generic service that remains the same from student to student.
Tracking progress is crucial toward development as it allows you to see where you have come from. A legitimate e-coaching service will have you set goals, both short-term and long, to attain. From there, they should offer daily or weekly goal updates of some sort so it is easy to see the progress.

About Bob...

With over 45 years of experience working with individuals and business owners alike, Bob brings to the table a unique style as well as a wealth of knowledge and expertise for both personal and business issues. His ongoing desire to understand the dynamics and psychology of human behavior has fed Bob's passion for helping others achieve success in their lives and their livelihood.

Bob isn't your typical "paint you blue sky" type of coach. He's objective and honest in guiding you to a better life. He'll give you straight answers with an expectation that you will act on them.

For the business owner, Bob is dedicated to improving profit, productivity, life balance and vision.

 I hope that you will give me the opportunity to work alongside you in achieving your goals.